CYBER CHAT AND FUN ,  HOW TO ADVICE

Match.comHow to Cyber Flirt with the opposite sex. Learn what you need to know to make your Cyber Flirt  and dating most enjoyable. The match you found using your dating services got you started but now you need to connect. This guide to Cyber chat provides you with many helpful suggestions.

1. We all want to be treated well and to feel special, but women tend to want it more.

The same rules of gentlemanly conduct that apply in life, apply on the Net. Woman want to be treated well. Respect her and you'll be a winner no matter how far you both take it. Offend a woman, and you are out of the game. Make her feel wanted, special and all of the dating doors are open up to you.

 

Men also want to feel that they are special and that you are really interested in them. So listen to him with a open mind. Men are also more visual, but don’t send a picture of yourself to start out. Men are more judgmental on looks so describe yourself with words first, then follow up with a picture only if you think you might be interested.

 

Based on your dating service profile, if either person has been divorced then there will probably be trust issues that need to be addressed. If they want to talk about it, keep it brief. If it is upsetting, then change the topic to something that is fun and enjoyable. But it is important to clear the air so to speak so you will know what that person is bringing with them. By talking about it, you’ll discover what issues have been a problem to them and you might be able to help. If not, it may be baggage that could cause problems in this new relationship. Communication is definitely a key here.

 

2. Lovers are not always friends that last forever. They come and go. The definition of a lover is subjective and misconstrued. So when you use the term "lover", be sure that they way you use it is understood by the other person. Don’t be misleading.

Although there are some people who are looking for a casual one-night stand, or using the net to meet offline for in-person pleasures, most people using online dating services are looking for more than that. In the last 15 years, Cybering has grown to a huge volume of users. Some use it to play, some use it to "test the water", some are very curious. So be careful with the person with whom you are chatting with and develop your skills so that you will know how to filter out the people who do not have the same goals in mind as you do.

If you can create a comfortable & safe place online, your chances are that you will have successful chats and move on towards dating that person. Online dating services are great for that. If you are interested in physical pleasure only, Adult Friend Finders is a great place to start. If you are looking for a long term relationship with marriage, the other sites listed on this web site are great places to start.

So cyber chatting can lead to many different prospects depending on what you are looking for. Remember, don’t be dishonest. You’ll get more out of chatting.

 

3. Cyber -Seduction - What do you want?

First Stage: Making contact. When online, it is normally a request for contact by instant messaging or e-mail, or through a dating service.

 

 

Second Stage: Flirting and Courtship. This can either develop slowly or happen very fast. (Note: Read the section on flirting for helpful hints).

 

Third Stage: Cyber-Seduction. Success comes to the man and Free Registration - AmericanSingles.comwoman who recognizes what stage they are in or when it is time for a person-to-person meeting. If it is purely physical and both of you know it, then it is up to each of you to know where it is going. If there are "no-strings", then tell each other. If you are looking for more, then TELL each other. Many people only want a physical relationship and others want a long term one. If you are looking for an enduring, long term relationship, then take your time to get to know that person. But please remember, online people can say many things. In person dating experiences, will tell you if you have met that special someone or discover other things about that person.

 

4. Getting to and past the first stage of seduction.

This is the easiest stage and for some the most difficult. Making contact and determining if the person is interested in your attention, is the crucial part of any relationship. This stage is the "let me see" mode. If the chatting advances to this stage, then ensure that you meet in a safe place and you both have mutually acceptable rules.

Unless either of you have clearly indicated that you only want a physical relationship, this is NOT the time to start asking about your very personal life. This is not an issue and no personal information should be exchanged. Remember, sparks can fly when rubbing two sticks together, but first you have to have two sticks. If you also have the wrong two sticks, nothing is going to happen. At this stage, you probably have not yet established a relationship, just two people chatting online. You probably are seeking that special someone who can make the sparks fly in the direction you want or to take the relationship in the direction you want.

In a nut shell, the art of getting past the first stage is knowing how to make the person comfortable without getting too personal. Know where each other’s boundaries are at each stage.

 

5. Let the flirtation games begin! The Second Stage of pre-seduction.

The best flirtation is like a couple dancing together. It takes two. Both players must be focused on each other and move in the same direction, together. Most of the time, the man takes the lead and the woman follows until the flirtation gets to a seduction point when the woman sends an invitational message to the man. If she is not responding, it could be that you are moving too fast. SLOW DOWN and make sure the message you are sending out is the one that she is receiving.

Be interested in what the other person is saying, but don’t ask a lot of questions at first. Ask common interest questions, then listen, but don't make him or her feel like they are on the witness stand. This is not an interview or examination. You are seeing if you both have common interests and if there is possibility of a relationship.

Never ask questions about her body parts or her dimensions unless she is willing to volunteer that level of information. Unless there is an indication from the woman that her interests are mainly physical, then her dimensions are not that important. If she indicates it is only physical, then those kinds of questions are not out of line and you could even discuss both of your dimensions!

But most of the time the open-ended questions are the best type of questions such as, How do you feel about....? What do you think about this…..? like best about...? Have your ever wanted to try…? What type of music do you listen to….? General questions will get you more specific answers, then you will know how to proceed. It is better than starting off asking a specific question of your like rock or classical?

Leading questions also don’t really tell you a lot about that person. Those kind of questions tend to lead to yes or no answers and they do not help you make a valid opinion about that person. It also tends to cut short any conversation fast. Keep the lines of communication going. Chatting online can be a major step towards a rewarding relationship. You may find that people who have been divorced are reluctant to talk about their past until they feel a sense that they can trust you. It may take some additional chatting. Keep a look out on those people who respond to your questions with just a few words. It may be that they are shy, but it could also mean that they may be hiding something. So be sure to listen and learn about the person you are cybering with. If you don't want to answer their questions, just be honest and tell that person that you are not ready to discuss it yet. Or indicate that since there is only a short period of time that you are online that you want to use the time talking about other things. Overall, most people do appreciate honesty and a candid response. Remember the person with whom you are communicating with can’t read your mind and they certainly can’t see your body language unless, of course, you have a camera. So don’t let their minds fill in the blanks. Remember - always keep moving towards a connection and don’t get disconnected by any misconception or messages you are giving.

 

6. Lay your cards on the table! You might find that you are both holding the same two cards. It is much better than holding back and finding out later on that one of you were bluffing the other.

 

So be HONEST!! If you don't look like a number 10, what ever that is, don’t pretend to be. The same goes for body parts. Ladies, if you have small breasts don’t tell the man you have double D’s. You might miss out on the man who was looking for what you really have to offer. The same goes for a man. Don’t pretend to be a star ladies man when you are not. If you pretend to be someone you are not, then you will get that someone you are not looking for or you will not be able to keep up with the facade. So be honest about your likes and dislikes. Some people think being honest is taking a risk. One way to look at it, is that it is the only way the person can truly like you is by being honest. If you have children from a prior marriage or relationship, don’t hide the fact!! Your children deserve more than that! If you only want a physical relationship, then keeping personal information private may be the best approach, but tell the person! Most of all - - Be truthful about your intentions during the first two stages. Any lie at this stage could end it all.

If you are not looking for a romance, don't pretend to be. If you are only looking for someone to share physical pleasures with, never pretend to be someone looking for love. Set some ground rules based on your likes and dislikes and give your intention

 

Consider if a person wants an open marriage but you have Christian principles, then you certainly don’t have a match so don’t pretend it to be one. Move on until you find that person who matches your desires. The ten best dating services that are listed on this website has something for everyone.

 

After you get past the first stage and find yourself getting closer to the second stage, start revealing something about yourself first then ask him or her to do the same. If you have not even had sex because you are waiting for the special someone, tell them like it is. To some this may be a deal breaker, and to others it is a deal maker. Something like these differences in lifestyles is extremely important since you both should be on the same page. The same goes for your intention to have children or not. If having children is very important, then the other person should disclose whether they want children or if they can even have children due to medical reasons or perhaps they have been "fixed". These important choices must be shared. As long as both parties are feeling respect and trust, the better the chance that it all will work out for the best.

Dating service profiles indicated a lot about a person. They are there to make matches and the system works very well as long as two parties are honest about each other. Being honest is extremely important in making things work between you and the person you have selected. null

7. When you get to stage three or close to it, let her take the lead and see where it goes.

As  you move through the levels, let her take the lead towards becoming more intimate either by cyber, phone or in person. Being intimate does not necessary mean sexual. Being intimate is a deeper level of closeness. Sure, it could be sexual. But that is up to you to decide where you want to take it.

Men look for a sign from a woman that she truly desires him. It also allows the woman to feel more in control of the situation if she feels she is in charge. When both parties are having intense intimacy feelings neither party is really in charge and the passion and the butterflies start to take control. That is why you want to do all of the communication before you get to this so your views do not become slanted.

Some people ask cyber seduction really happens. Yes it does. It can in many ways be even stronger than a face to face meeting since people tend to share more of themselves online. They are less shy and more willing to express their feelings. A word of caution however, the body may take over your normal reasoning skills and you may find yourself doing something that you did not want to do. When cyber chatting, don’t hesitate to ask about what he or she is wearing. The responses you get can be fun, exciting and even provocative.

 

8. Stage Three: Provocative or fact-finding?

You are now at cyber-seduction stage three. If you live far apart and the distance prohibits you from meeting face to face and you want to share your provocative feelings, this is when you can start sharing these kinds of thoughts. You may be able to speak sensually if you have both decided to go further. Remember, all of the above rules still apply, and if either of you do not want to continue, no means no. But again, if you got this far it is probably more of yes than a no. So be sure about each other’s perception of having adult fun. One may be thinking more romantically than a one-night or one-cyber stand. Let your expressions lead the way.

Ask to describe what they look like so they can try to visualize what you look like. Use details like colors, shapes, clothing, length of hair, etc. Ask if they like to use words that may promote sexual feelings and whether or not they are offensive. If so, proceed. Describing your feelings and the perception that you get from your chat buddy can develop sexually quickly. Things can heat up very fast. Get to know yourself and you both will develop the relationship that you desire.

If this is not just a hot-romping physical relationship, then discuss things that are romantic like sitting at a dinner table with roses. Talk about how each other kisses. Use describing words such as smooth as silk for one example. Use your imagination. Feel what you are saying! Make each other purrrrrrrrrrrr in what ever direction you want the relationship to go. You have the power to take it to whatever level you want, but most importantly, be honest! If you both want to role-play, then at least you both know there is fantasy involved, but by being honest, you will enjoy your cyber-chatting in the long run.